回首向来萧瑟处,归去,也无风雨也无晴。

http://www.rainymood.com/

2011-08-28T06:07:00.000-07:00

the island surrounded by dreams

2010-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

It was my calling to a field of buttercups swaying lazily in the breeze of an Australian spring.
A dream I am living which I hope I would never wake up from.
This is my story, a humble one, but please, mind the step, when you open the door.

collide

2010-05-31T01:46:00.000-07:00

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You somehow find you and I collide

set the bar.
I follow.

few months of australia

2010-05-08T21:58:00.000-07:00

I lost myself to australia
I need to get myself back.

I dont know what I am anymore.
An amalgamation of different cultures, philosophies, thinking and communication,

Thats what I am.
I just need to sort it out.

what nonsense.
I dont need to.

I must.
And I will.

置于死地而后生

2010-01-02T23:07:00.000-08:00

the blind cant see
the crippled cant walk
it is the natural order

imperfection
is perfect
and to take perfect from perfect
only perfect is left

good birds find good trees to live in
trees rotting at the roots
would fall with time

trees grow and fall
good trees last for thousands of years
some barely last a century

china's dynasties have good founders
but they failed as the throne fell upon shoulders not meant for the throne
succession by blood ended
it would fail less easily

money does make life easier

rich or poor
is defined not by the wealth you have
but how you spent it

spend more, save less,
save more, consume less,
two giants of a country,
East and West,
big difference in fate.

peaches and plums dont speak
yet a path is carved beneath them

its not fine to rob others
it is, to defend against robbers
its fine for others not to understand you
its not if you dont understand others

know the person
know the face

the heart, you wont know.

Yours,

Daniel Lee Siang Yuin

the end

2009-06-16T06:21:00.000-07:00

what is of essence is nt the time which passed,
but how you spend it.

one and a half years is long time,
which was short,
but as it is,
it has passed.

time t appreciate this blog's title.
all said,
let fate decide.
trust luck.

t my hsmates,

2009-03-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

i ll enjoy the moments of stress where craziness overtake us,
the second-hand smoke from brunei,
the times we laughed,
the times we laugh even louder,
and,
yeah,
thx 4 ur coms.

perfect art.

2009-02-16T23:24:00.000-08:00

the art of making fun of urself.

of laughing at urself.

of absorbing the joke.

of being the joke.

is the most beautiful art of all.

the clown in u.

express it.

laugh at urself.

and people will laugh with u.

valentines

2009-02-13T01:52:00.000-08:00

it all started on monday i think.
ko unleashed his valentines plan on us.

'we have 12 girls and 11 guys in the class.
y not we jus draw lots and have couples for valentines?
and one lucky guy gets 2 girls.'

lol.
we were supposed to be sporting.
at least its better than the cucumbers we gave the girls last year.

further discussion brought down to alyssa being exempted as shes nt single.

drew.
got a 4.

well, its sure funny as each couple was revealed.
any1 gettin kong will be sure suprised.
underneath his roundness....
is a baby dragon.

zhen got me.

house rules:
must get something 4 partner.
sit together, lunch together..
lol...

i was lazy to think.
seriously.

so i did it the daniel way.

collected data from various sources.
compounded it.
and form a complex compound.

lol.
some suggestions were more outrageous than tunas.
for goodness sake? basketballs?

***

well, even the florist is against me:

'flowers for valentines day?'

'yup. do u have hibiscus?'

no joke man, she flared up like an angry mung bean.

'no, our shop dont sell hibiscus. u want, u go to the roadside and pick. no, i tell u, our shop dont sell hibiscus.'

imagine timothy in full bitch mode. lol.

'so, errr what bout these?'
i took some white flowers.
they look like those u see when u go to funerals.
nt bad, funeral flowers 4 valentines.
sniff*
its beautiful.

'u said its 4 valentines? dont take them. usually ppl will get roses, not that.'

lol.
whats her problem?
i was about to give her a sureshan frown.
then i thought better of it.
no time.
grabbed some bright yellow brush.

' ill take this.'

she gave me some dirty cross disgusted frown.
then passed them to an old woman.
and turn back to her telephone askin bout some visma place near kepong.

***

i need to get the tuna out before the flower.
feel like punking her.

sharon.
an angel.

well, she did suffer a bit on my behalf.
holdin d yellow stuff.
kena shoot straight away by su ern and zhen when they came.

lol.
zhen was like in hysterics when i gave her the tunas can by can.
6 of them.
well, i do need to work on my expressionless blur face more.
but i cant let sharon get underfire for longer.
i do owe her a lot.

then only i gave the flowers.

and i got chocolate milk packets.
6 of them.

i messaged my hsmate,
'lol...'

his reply?
' oh lord jesus'

O' LORD JESUUSSSS

2009-02-09T04:43:00.000-08:00

i hold no grudge against jesus.

in fact,

i respect him.

brilliant guy.

died with so much style.

i ve read the whole bible.
and memorised luke and acts.
and sat in for god knows how many cell groups.
and fellowships.
and prayer meetings.

and 3 people just simply threatens to ruin jesus's good image before me.

on a fine friday night.
my hsmate's friend said she wanted to visit him, with some friends.
well, thats fine.

then my hsmate asked me to introduce myself.
ok... no problem with that.

then i spotted the familiar booklet the guy was holdin.
o.y.g.
sometin's wrong.

they asked what religions we were.
'buddhist.'
'free but more to buddhist.'
' me? im a muslim"
went back to the room.
my hsmates:'no he is just jokin, he is a free thinker'
dont they know how to act?

got pulled out by
" eh? where daniel went?'

cooperated.
give face.

then they started askin.
whats ur purpose in life?

my hsmate: to find real me.
second hsmate: sometin bout wildlife.
my turn.

"so, daniel? whats ur purpose in life?"
'to glorify god.
to spread the news of the kingdom of god to the ends of the world'

as soon the words were out of my mouth,
cant help but laugh.
covered my face.
this was so funny.
like takin the words out of their mouth.
they must be mistakin me for being shy.
like i care.
lol.

then,
lectures.
his english sounds wrong in a right way.
the girls' keep on using an unnatural hypnotysin voice.
...
(interject lots of amens and lord jesus in that voice which makes one feel like shiverin, just like a limp french fry)
...
gloves created for hand.
not for feet.
...
...
sometin bout names
and i realised they wanted us to chant
O LORD JESUSSSS.
5 times.
the time i feel the stupidest in my life.
even other christian meetins are more natural feelin.
...
...

then talked bout satan.
archangel created by god.

'whats his name again?'
lol.
they come here to preach and dont even know some stupid name.
'lucifer?'
tried to be helpful.
'yeah, lucifer.' the other 2 confirmed.

...
...

well at last they are gone.

智者不言，言者不智。

2009-02-07T07:34:00.000-08:00

desire

2009-02-06T02:01:00.000-08:00

why do we desire anyting?
why do we strive to get what we want?
why do we want?

kong said,
isnt it better to just work in seven eleven and earn just enough to feed urself?
why study medicine? when the whole million dollars can be used for something else?

it is human nature to desire.
to desire too much we call greed.
not to desire is to be detached.

yet to call it human nature is an excuse.

yet being detached is not human.
we call them divine.

as even buddha was once human.
then he sat under a tree.
and detached.
till he realised how useless being detached is.

being totally detached is useless,
as well not be borned,
it would save so much rice,
reduce co2 produced by so much.

moderation is the best.
to rejoice and be satisfied
yet still have the drive to achieve.

chiun min signature depressing question:
why do we live?
whats the purpose?
why do we eat?
why?

its just because we were created for the purpose of living, eating, surviving, reproducing and dying.

and why were we created?
we may just be an accident for all we know...

2009-02-03T22:47:00.000-08:00

jesus said he will bring you to heaven.
and he just tells u theres a feast there.
and not everybody can go there.

sidharta gautama is a bit better.
at least he describes more bout the land of bliss.
every tree...
every rock...
every petal...

even creating demigods,
guan yins,

well, to be fair,
he did live longer than jesus.
jesus only had thirty years.
he did have more time for creativity.
and more time to think.

the heart sutra:

Body is nothing more than emptiness,
emptiness is nothing more than body.
The body is exactly empty,
and emptiness is exactly body.

The other four aspects of human existence
-- feeling, thought, will, and consciousness --
are likewise nothing more than emptiness,
and emptiness nothing more than they.

All things are empty:
Nothing is born, nothing dies,
nothing is pure, nothing is stained,
nothing increases and nothing decreases.
So, in emptiness,
there is no body, no feeling,
no thought, no will, no consciousness.
There are no eyes, no ears,
no nose, no tongue,
no body, no mind.
There is no seeing, no hearing,
no smelling, no tasting,
no touching, no imagining.
There is nothing seen, nor heard,
nor smelled, nor tasted,
nor touched, nor imagined.
There is no ignorance, and no end to ignorance.
There is no old age and death,
and no end to old age and death.
There is no suffering,
no cause of suffering,
no end to suffering,
no path to follow.
There is no attainment of wisdom,
and no wisdom to attain.
The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom,
and so with no delusions, they feel no fear,
and have Nirvana here and now.

This is truth that cannot be doubted. Say it so:
Gaté, gaté, paragaté, parasamgaté. Bodhi! Svaha!
Gone, gone, gone over, gone fully over. Awakened! So be it!

2009-02-01T00:33:00.000-08:00

道可道，非常道。
名可名，非常名。

the path which can be shown,
is not an eternal path.

those that can be named,
are those that are not eternal.

ideals

2009-01-16T03:07:00.000-08:00

are there any ideal guys?
no.

ko: hey, look at me, cant u see the five letters on me? I D E A L?

* * *
but hang on,

is there any ideal girls?

no.

yet we dream bout being ideal.
while idealness is just a dream.
where we look for idealness,
the idealness is found only where it is not ideal.
but nature is always ideal.
we follow our instincts,
which will lead us to idealness.

while reproducing,
we look for partners with the best genes.
so that the next generation would survive.
the urge to mate with the one we presume to have the best genes,
the attraction.
its natural.
yet what we forget is whether we ourselves have the best genes which attract the opposite sex.
so look upon urself.
n think.

prime minister. ex.

2009-01-12T00:07:00.000-08:00

peace.
whats peace?
people say they want peace.
yet they themselves do not uphold the peace.

as mahathir say,
evry1 does smthg 4 a reason.
no one goes on the street n punch sm1 on his nose for no reason.

except 4 me.

but thats nt the point.

the point is,
theres a reason theres war.

im nt sayin war is good.

but as a matter of fact,
its a struggle for existence.
as darwin said.
jus that war has evolved.
from claws and talons.
to sharper claws and talons.
till now,
an atomic bomb,
an even sharper talon.

to see the reason of war,
you see from both sides of parties.
both of them think they are right.
want their own way,
war starts.
killing starts.

but the logic is the same.
they are fighting for themselves.
you dont see any1 fightin for some1 else 4 no reason.
they are fightin for what they think is right.
though what they think is right may be wrong.
as the other side think is wrong,
which in turn the other side which think they are right may be wrong themselves.

and all in all its just a cycle with no end.
n no peace.

yet it continues.
cos nature dictates.
human nature is like that.
and there will still be war.
as sure as siblings do squabble.
as sure as couples do quarrel.
as it is their nature.
and nature dictates.
the time may come when theres no war.
but war will follow after.
then peace after war.
and war after peace.
a cycle of no end.
but ends when the world does.

our prime minister.
ex.
has a way with words.
he does say what he thinks is right.
as evry1 does.
but its the ability to make people think the way he think is right that i respect.
a very rare ability which made him prime minister.
though i wont criticise him.
cos he does has his own reasons for his own actions.
be it personal or watsoever.

n im nt stupid enough to get myslf persecuted.

of women and men.

2009-01-01T23:16:00.000-08:00

please note i hold no responsibility for any errors watsoever in facts or info.
cos its just wat i notice.

males are attracted to females who look like their mom.
females are attracted to males like their dad.
they are attracted to them cos its the face they looked upon the most in their life.

females's brain think in a different frequency then male's.
we have a hamster.
female: its soooooo cuuuuuute.
male: yup. its cute. so?

females have their own logic.
males have their own too.
females read body language better than males.
though some males do read body language,
but dont do anytin bout it.

when males shop,
they go to the shop,
order what they want,
take it,
n go.
when females shop,
they go to the shop,
look around,
try everytin they like,
they go to the next shop,
n repeat the process.

when males get presents,
the more practical it is,
theres a greater chance he wont leave it in some corner n 4get bout it.
when females get presents,
the more expensive n useless it is,
the happier she is.

the art of seduction of women.
=art of being a jerk.
seriously.
they look at a jerk,
and let hormones and motherly instinct kick in.
hey presto,
shes in love.
but magnitude of jerkiness must be finely controlled to perfection to yield results.
too jerky n you r a clown.
not jerky n you are boring.
in simple words,
personality.
its not the only factor,
theres more.
a lot more.
but im lazy.

what bout vice versa?
what do men look 4 in women?
zhen asked me this.
her exact words,
:what would make you be attracted to a girl?

i cant answer 4 all males.
physically,
which i dont have any control on,
as i said.
she would be like my mom.
when shes young.

otherwise,
i wont tell u.
cos mom wants me t get girlfriend but not now.
NOT NOW.
well, i found her loophole.
which means i dont need 1.
yet.
not that i opposed to gettin 1.
its cos im not matured.
n the case rests here.

but generally,
males want females to be beautiful.
n definition of beautiful varies with each male.
males want females to be confident.
n levels of confidence varies with each male.
males want females to understand him.
someone they can trust.

theres more.
but as i told u.
im lazy.
n i need my chocolate milk.
so long.

tell me. why?

2009-01-01T23:08:00.000-08:00

life's full of mysteries.
yet men strife to uncover them.
cos it's men's nature.
curiosity.
like mine.
the fools they are.
when they discover,
the greatest mystery.
is to remain a mystery.
all's clear to me.
cos i failed my ielts.
shouldnt have ask the examiner's mom's name.

why?

2008-12-23T03:31:00.000-08:00

i found out whats autism.
i went to orchard.
n learnt how to go round shopping malls n ride escalators.
though i prefer being mentally retarded.
shopping malls is smthg akin to being mentally retarded.
though its being mentally retarded in a different sense.
cos it has MPH.
and various bookstores.
which are not so mentally retarded.
n i found a book.
if life is a game, these are the rules.

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules
Cherie Carter-Scott
In workshops and retreats, on photocopies and emails, on noticeboards and
fridge doors, the 'Ten Rules for Being Human' have been spreading round the
world like wildfire, so, in all probability, you've already seen them. In case you
haven't, they're brilliant, and here they are, together with Cherie Carter-Scott's
summary of how you can use them as a primer for higher consciousness.

Rule One
You will receive a body. You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the
duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two
You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal
school called ‘life.' Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to
learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed
them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation, a
series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as
much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four
A lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons will be repeated to you in various
forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can
then go on to the next lesson.

Rule Five
Learning does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If
you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six
‘There’ is no better than ‘here’. When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here,' you will
simply obtain a ‘there’ that will look better to you than your present ‘here’.

Rule Seven
Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about
another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources
you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine
Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten
You will forget all of this at birth. You can remember it if you want by
unravelling the double helix of inner knowing.

Summary
Your time here on Earth is brief. Time passes and things change. You have
options and choices in which to make your wishes, dreams, and goals become
reality.
When you ask yourself, ‘Why am I here?’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’ or
‘What's it all about?’ turn to your spiritual primer. Ask yourself, ‘What is the
lesson?’ If you hear a defensive reaction using the words ‘never’ or ‘always’ in
your response, you haven’t yet learned the lesson. Next, go a little deeper and
ask, ‘What is there for me to learn from this experience?’
Each time you view your circumstances as possessing value, regardless of the
apparent confusion or hardship, you grow. Your personal evolution will
depend on how readily you embrace your lessons and integrate them into your
life. Remember, the only consequence for resisting lessons, is that they will
keep repeating themselves until you learn them. When you have learned a
lesson, you will always be tested. When the lesson is learned, the test will be
easily passed, and you then move on to more complex and challenging ones.
You can look back on the incidents in your past and see clearly the lessons you
have learned, resisted, and are still repeating. ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow
is a mystery, and today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.’
It is more challenging to look at your present situation and see exactly what
your lessons are. Looking into the future is the most difficult. Wishing that
you had already graduated from the school of life does not accelerate your
progress or make the lessons any easier. Examining the situation for the real
lesson is the scavenger hunt.
Remind yourself that you are here to learn lessons. Be present with your
process. Pay attention to what you are experiencing. Be diligent with actions
which enable you to ‘get' the lessons presented to you. Ask for answers and
you shall receive them. Listen with an open heart. Explore all options. See
your judgment as a mirror. View each crisis as an opportunity. Trust yourself.
Believe in yourself. Look within yourself, to your higher self, for guidance on
all your choices. Extend compassion to yourself.
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons (Rule Three). Love yourself,
trust your choices, and everything is possible!

this book is...
like...
takin the words out of my mouth...
n not puttin it i my style...
so i still prefer lao zi...

Daybreak.

2008-12-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

lee chum ming
grace ti hii sie
kong sook yee
lee chee wei
chan lin teng
hor peck yan
yee wai yin
wong wai yee
liew kuan sung
chong tai sie
wong choon hiong
paul raymond
...

names.
not of mothers.
but of mentally retarded people.
there are more of them.

memorising names is hard.
especially when they come in packages of more than 11.
recallin offhand is torture.
especially as i worked with mentally retarded people.
i gradually became mentally retarded.
no offense meant,
but i salute mentally retarded people.
they are more suited to this mental challenge.
an interesting type of mental torture.
which includes willpower.
and power to stay awake.
and power to withstand boredom if u are awake.

what i did was simple.
i took 2 pencils.
inserted them into a sealing plastic.
inserted an eraser.
with the picture side facing d right side up.
seal it.
this process took me less than 30 seconds.
and i repeated it for 2 hours.
but they repeated it for 6 hours.
while i skipped from inserting pens,
to sealing bottle caps,
to checking holes in gloves.
back to sealing pencils.
and they are still more energetic.
waving byes while i saw them go.

they are individuals.
same as us.
each with common characteristics of their own.
but each unique on their own.
they may not be homosapiens,
but an entirely different species,
due to their special chromosomal number
or they may be homosapiens
with some parts of their brain functioning differently
or some disease which crippled them

yet god,
if there is one,
gave them what they had.
or mayb their mothers did.
but i dont care one way or another.

some of their speech may be slurred.
some of them may be shy.
some of them may not know numbers or letters.
yet they listen.
yet they understand.
yet they are ready to befriend.
yet they are ready to help.
yet they whole in their innocence.
(except for creeping up someone's back and poking their ribs)

the point is,
they too have mothers.
though some of them has passed away.
nevertheless,
its a reason.
as good as any reason is.

they have life.
n they have their right to live it to their fullest.

mornin after d storm-solitude

2008-12-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

a monday mornin.
early drizzle against d window pane.
droplets of water.
giving no mercy.
relentless.

here i am.
just me and u.
staring into d rain.
my faithful partner,
loneliness.

raindrops fall where they will.
leaves fall as they wish.
wind, the king of the sky.
clouds, its slave.

gone.
all gone.
every1 is gone.
gone with d wind.
as wind comes and goes.
they will return.

but now they r gone.
left u with me.
ur presence.
like a stone in my heart.
heavy.
heavier.

i embrace u.
welcome, my friend.
the one who understands me most.
u will b my strength.
t pull me through.
my wings.
so i can fly.
my force.
to endure.

im human.
a being governed by nature's laws.
a being with limitations.
yet a being deemed special.
though its not.
of intelligence.
of emotion.
its strength.
yet its undoing.

solitude.
will not be eternal.
as this is life.
and life dictates.
time.
its supervisor.
d wheel of time weaving as it wills.
threads of life.
entwining.
entangling.
inevitably.

till then,
i bask in ur glory,
my friend.

d weekend. THE weekend.

2008-12-08T18:32:00.000-08:00

a hurricane of a weekend.
which went pass.
with lots of hugs.
n some chocolate.
definitely 1 of d craziest i ever had.
as i ve never been crazy bfore.
n that amounts t lotsa fun.
what with pubs, food n wetness.
1 can nevar gt enough of it.

clowns. as clowns may be.

2008-12-08T18:15:00.000-08:00

life may be a circus ring.
we may be clowns upon it.
indeed.
theres a clown in every1.
yet its up t d clown.
t b a happy 1,
or a sad 1.
t entertain.
out of our hearts.
or out of duty.
the choice.
lies within us.

a visit to a mom

2008-12-02T01:56:00.000-08:00

six cars in a line.
passengers wearin black.
lined wit silver and gold.
to smwhr called bandar kinrara.
t visit a mom.
and a baby.
theres a rabbit.
in a cage.
and a baby.
wit red cheeks.
life.
a new life.
the begining of a new life.
which would end.
like all life do.
as nature dictates.
to grow.
to mature.
the urge to find a mate.
to seed our offspring.
to leave our legacy.
to die.
death.
the opposite of living.
while death is the absence of life.
its what that makes life precious.
life is nt everlasting.
so short a life.
yet so long a death.
yet as there is death.
there is new life.
a perfect circle.
the cycle of life.

never mind.
talkin nonsense again.
but why is there life?
humans come from zygotes.
chickens come from eggs.
zygotes and eggs r formed by parents.
parents r formed by ancestors.
ancestors r formed by simple microorganism.
n where do our unicellular ancestors come from?
whats the first spark which triggered the first replication of RNA?
why did they form?
high pressure?
temp?
electric current?
magnetic field?
random atomic collisions?
abiogenesis?
from a meteorite?
that first spark will bring a whole new dimension.
nt only duplicating life.
but creating life itself.

sorry.
more nonsense.
anyway, visitin ms ko was fun.
i gt t carry her baby.
which amount t d same as hugging her baby.
babies need touch.
shes jus like a puppy.
though carrying a puppy is different.
i love dogs.
just that my mom doesnt allow me t have 1.
chocolate would be nice.

a day special as any other day is.

2008-11-30T19:05:00.000-08:00

woke up.
blur.
kong said meet him or smthg wit an approximate meaning.
wore formal.
found out i have t run round KL.
in formal.
never mind.
i will b special.
i dont mind the attention.
they gave t-shirts.
for free.
and a cool rhino.
bicycles.
all bicycles.
all helmets.
no formal wear.
all cyclists.
no runners.
means no running.
no attention.
never mind.
...
i'm HIV+. can i giv u a hug?
yup.
i wore that around me 4 a few hours n walked around the place.
gt hugs frm strangers.
nice.
like t hug.
jus that nt evry1 wants t be hugged.
...
i'm declared HIV-.
and HIV + five min later.
...
to sum up.
i gt hugs.
i'm seeing ms ko on tuesday.
n her baby.
fun.

regurgitation

2008-11-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

worker bees consume pollen and nectar.
digest it.
vomit it out.
n form royal jelly.
4 queen t be larvaes.

parent birds find food.
store it.
regurgitate.
n feed their young.

male emperor penguins vomit curd like substance from their oesophagus.
rich in protein n nutrients.
t feed their babies.

any1 wonders hw kissing came about?

yup.
mothers chewing d food
vomitin it t feed their babies.

evolution brought us kissing.
who knows what kissing will evolve into in d future?

ulcers

2008-11-26T23:15:00.000-08:00

ulcers.
cause pain.
dont like pain.
try nt t move my lips.
cant smile.
they say smilin uses very little facial muscles.
too bad it moves d lips too.
cos i ve ulcers.
feel pain while smilin.
feel pain while talkin.
feel pain while eatin.
feel pain while tryin nt t feel pain.
so pain to the extent of nirvana.

number of ulcers is directly proportional to mass of a basketball and its initial speed.
air resistance is negligible.
orientation is taken into account as number of ulcers would be replaced by brokened nose displaced n degrees to an unknown direction.

lesson.
play more ball.

pain on the surface.
pain within.
pain.
ignored.

同窗们

2008-11-23T04:56:00.001-08:00

去年今日此门中，
人面壁帘相映红。
人面不知何处去，
哀阳依旧升于东。

光阴逝，
无觉。
友情挚，
无悔。

回味之欢乐，
笑忘之伤感，
谅解之误会，
一切，
珍藏于胸膛。

人之路遥
遥中有直
直中有湾
湾中会逢
逢于今后
后会有期。

saturday

2008-11-23T01:23:00.000-08:00

pay 95 bucks 4 breakfast,
lunch,
listenin t intelligence 4 hours,
and a test.
worth it?

i think i passed d test.
no,
if i fail, i ll jump and achieve nirvana.

met raynolds.
he is not mad.
he is indescribable by words.
vivek told me his mom's name.

serene and edwin's farewell.
went steamboat.
more fun.
food's delicious
bloated.
serene took over 50 mussels/marcels.
photos.
still feel bloated.
is this nirvana?
no, i think not.

sunway

2008-11-23T00:40:00.000-08:00

god knows how many times i went t sunway.
can b counted wit my fingers.
but the times i went,
its fun.
wit friends.
its always fun t b wit friends.
esther is here.
poh hui oso here.
watched movie.
bout hunchbacks.
evil.
eva.
and pockets full of sunshine.
and su ern suddenly look diff.
then went meet may suen.
and joshua.
and conflict between food.
endin in some fish shop.
manhatten.
which has salmon.
and a spoon stuffed into my mouth.
dint talk much.
its 'funner' t listen t ppl talk.
jak o donuts are delicious.
we were in d smokin area.
n i dont like smoke.
went t bridge.
no moon.
nt many stars.
universe is wide.
n still expandin.
n earth is so insignificant.
yet so significant.
small.
yet so big.
relativity.
how diff ppl look at the same thing and see frm diff perspectives.
humans.
i m one myself.
bad luck dat im one.
never mind.
zhen's dad cmin.
public bank.
went there.
then kong went back.
then su ern fetched us back.
sat like an igor on jason's lap.
and i 4gt t ask su ern's mom's name.
reached.
finished hundred smthg pages of bisingr.
tdy's fun.
d dy we slay cambridge.

2008-11-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

before chem...

how r u?

fine, mom.

d u hv any papers tdy?

yup, chem in half n hour.

oh... ok. good luck.

thx, mum. bye.

bye...

taymun meetin...

1 missed call.

oops, mom called durin exam.

lucky its on silent.

phone buzzed.

1time

2 times

3 times

4 times

ok, more then 3 times, sm1 callin.

mom?

yup, its mom.

but would it interupt d meetin?

message her 1st.

chiun min goin out?

follw them.

mission: call mom.

cant gt her.

phone off.

tried 3rd time.

gt her.

what? shes here?

waitin at my place?

almost ran there

in the rain

mom want t pick me from campus.

insisted.

said i ll gt sick.

obeyed her.

as always.

15 mins later...

gt on car.

mom's hair is shorter.

redder.

shes smilin

father's drivin

his presence there as always,

smwht powerful.

but mom's the twitterbug,

u look skinny,

better eat more.

i brought cake and chicken.

have to eat more

u r growin up

afterwards go uni so small size no girl want

.....

4.30

have to placate her by eatin the stuff she brought.

even though nt hungry yet.

her words,

eat nw.

later 7 go eat dinner.

then buy bread.

11 hv supper.

nw is only tea time.

.....

then father said,

hv t go.

afterwards traffic jam.

fridy last paper izit?

physics?

sleep early.

mom

later only go,

father

go nw,

like u havent seen ur son for one life time.

man of few words

bt when he speaks, u listen.

firm as always

then went,

bye...

?

2008-11-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

zhen: is there any girl u like before?

daniel: my mom?

i thought that was pretty obvious.

mayb she 4gtten.

zhen: what would make u go after a girl?

if light does go into a blackhole, it doesnt, come out, then the energy should be converted into smthg which...
mass in the 1st place attracts light...

should i drink yam milk tea?

a girl?

or should i buy chocolate milk?

y would i go after a girl now?

y suddenly ask me this?

i did anytin wrong t girls?

or did they found out that my mom loves me.

but yam milk tea is so heavenly...

or is it a new style of interrogation.

or...

daniel: err...

mom said dont go after girls now.

dad said there are plenty of girls,dont have rush.

mom said chase them later, girls are all waitin to be conned by men. dont kno whether shes tellin d truth or nt.

y is sue ern standin up?oh shes movin here.

zhen: or u havent think about it before?

well, i ve never thought bout it that way bfore.

i think bout what would make girls go after men.

though i never acted on my analysis.

nt gd t create misundrstdins

daniel: yup.

so mayb chocolate milk...

the queue now is so long...

zhen: so do any of u think that i like any1?

but melamine...

kong, tim, jason.....: dhruva...

su ern: ( smthg bout terrence and his hairstyle)

su ern: let me ask that question, the one u just asked.

zhen: thats like a no brainer. so do any1 think that i like any1?

su ern: i asked that question.

tim: that 1 i answered long time ago.

yup. its facinatin hw humans cant stand t be silent.
mayb i should stick to chocolate milk...

bugger melamine.
im nt dyin of kidney stones.
god still has plans 4 me.

and its so fun to tense and relax ur whole body.
u will gt a kind of drunken walk if u do this while walkin.

more tags

2008-11-02T21:34:00.000-08:00

gt tagged again. my as well gt it over with.

Instructions
Remove 1 question (any from below) and add in a personal question, make it a total of 19 questions.
Tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.
NO TAG BACK!!

1. What are your nicknames?

standard 1: wu yun( dark cloud)

a-levels: big breast mom.- all bcos of a lab coat which got inside a bathrobe and sagged.

2. What is your favourite thing to do?

think and stop thinking

4. Is there someone in your heart right now?

my mom.

5. What are you afraid to lose the most?

i ve nothing to lose. evrything t gain

6. What do you feel like doing right now?

drink chocolate milk

7. If there's someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

of course. told my mom once. gt so high.

8. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you!

errrr...

he's a good boy.

he's hardworkin.

he's taller now...

9. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

never thought bout it. i think the other way round. what the other half wishes from me. but i dont care much. cos my mom told me nt t have gfs 4 d time being.

10. What are the things that will make you think that he/she is bad?

i dont think anyone is bad. they do things for reason. unless they dont have a reason. then i'm speechless.

11. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

salmon. chocolate milk. apple juice. root beer. malta. is that more than 1?

12. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?

logically, any1 with a sound mind will choose both.

13. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

t express myself more. t communicate.

14. What is the one thing you love about yourself?

i'm alive.

15. If you can bring only one thing along with you to another world, what would it be?

a towel. accordin t hitchhiker's guide t the galaxy, its the most the most useful tool t have wit u.

16. Are you afraid of falling in love?

evrytin has a time. it comes when it wills. time reveals evrytin.

time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like an apple.

17. If you become the opposite sex of you, what will you do??

i wont. so i wont burden myself thinkin bout it.

18. What if the one you love doesn't love you at all or doesn't have any crush on you?

if u want my advice, move on. but if u r askin me, love is very subjective. until he has unconditional and unbiased love for all beings, men will not find peace. even if no one loves me, i ll love them all the same.

19. what's ur mom's name?

Lee Bee Swan.

nonsense philosophy

2008-10-24T07:25:00.000-07:00

life's a mask,
a journey upon a stage,
wit an endin which no one livin is able to describe.
cept 4 those who are nt livin,
but that we will find out soon enough when the time comes.

life's a mask,
why so?
our interaction wit the outside world,
our world inside,
our mask, is what people see,
what ourselves are inside, only ouselves know.

most live completely in the outside world. they express themselves very well.
some achieve somesort of 'balance n harmony' between the two worlds. they express themselves only sometimes.
some detached frm the outside world. crazy people who gt themselves depressed.
some are imbalanced. people who gt even more depressed than a squashed spongebob.
some are able to detach at will. added this for fun.

well, its kind of sad,i dont even know which category i am, due to a transition of state during the recent 10 months. its gd though, im learnin to express myself, though i still keep so ***** much inside.

we cater to others and expect others to cater to us.- stupid.
we dont care 4 others n dont expect others to care 4 us.-life would be sooo lonely. yup, life's a mask, a stageshow. it would be such a sad, lonely stageshow.
we care bout others, but dont expect anytin back. -well, even if they do return the favour, its smthg gd.

most people care a lot what others think of them.
most people want good images of themselves, to look great before others.
most people want to be recognised.
most people want their sense of self importance.
simply, most people want to be cared 4, to be loved.

most people like to be made to feel important.
most people like their efforts to be appreciated.
most people want to be remembered.
most people want only gd things to happen to them. (n sometimes, bad things only to others)
most people want whatever they do to be a success.

i derive this frm analysis, the most important thing to a human being is not his assets, nor his pride, nor his anything, but his sense of importance.
its the sense of self importance which makes men want to live.
the illusion that they are needed in this world.
the belief that without them, there will be no more fridays.
even though we cant deny we are different,
we are nt much more important than two matin cockroaches.
but we still prefer to believe we are.

but in this case, i stick to moderation.
too much sense of self importance is a disaster.
no sense of self importance means depression
but my level of moderation is so much lower, to the extent of doin weird stuff publicly, frm lovely speeches in april to bathrobes in sept.

people say the world is unfair,
people say evryone doesnt understand them.
people say evrytin is against them.
they envy those who are successful.
haha... no cure 4 them.
d cure lies in themselves.
what they need is some chocolate,
shake themselves up,
and gt on wit life.
cos they are goin to die anyway.
and logically its better to die after enjoyin life.
and they are nt goin to enjoy life if they are depressed.

and lets define the word 'successful'
people look at others who have lots of money, and think they are successful.
people look at others who are famous, and think they are successful.
people look at others who did smthg they couldnt do, and think they are successful.
but in truth, that is nt at all what success is all about.

success is satsfaction.
satisfaction of achievin smthg.
there are people who are nt rich who are successful.
there are people who are nt famous who are successful.
this i deduced a few years back, after playin a stupid game.
i completed the game.
i felt good.
and stupid.
and i still do.
cause im still playin stupid games.
why?
cos it feels gd.
but it still feels stupid.
cos im wastin all that time, mental power and eye power.
but its still gd.
im not repeatin myself.

i understand people.
but i dont express it.
cos i dont know how to.
and i dont know how to help them see light.
so generally, i keep my silence.
its all in the mind.

the people we meet,
the friends we make,
the things we do,
the goals we strive 4,
evry breath we take,
evry blink of an eye...
has a purpose.

we meet people, to interact, to obtain something. neccesities of livin
we make friends, for something. friendship.
we do things, for something. things we desire
we strive 4 goals, for something. fame and recognition
we breath, 4 something. for O2
we blink, for something. to gt tears out, or sand or 4 moisture?

why do we strive so hard to achieve smthg?
after we have the neccesities to live, why do we still want more?
in the 1st place, why do we want to live?

haha....
people say cos there are so many beautiful things in the world we havent witness.
people say cos we are still needed by others.
people say cos theres love where there is life.

i say cos its jus a process bfore we die.
a process which is caused by:
1. replication.
2. mistake in replication.
3. replication of mistake.
and it did nt start frm there.

it started frm the 1st replication.
which might also be a mistake.
maybe the day will really come, when god tells us, sorry 4 all the inconvenience caused.
and we will jus say, never mind, its too late.

between males and females

2008-10-16T00:56:00.000-07:00

what does it take to tickle someone's ventromedial prefrontal cortex?
ans: something funny.

the funny thing is, males and females process funny differently.
females think things are selectively funny.
males think... pretty much anything... is funny.
females dont tell jokes, they tell stories, the stories may or may not be funny.
males taunt and insult each other, and think its funny.
females think more before they think its funny.
males dont, but just think funny is funny.

where i gt this frm?
easy, i placed myself in smone else view point, in this case, a female, and discovered, funny.

of cockroaches and detergents

2008-10-04T00:28:00.000-07:00

please note that the conversations below are not 101% accurate due to short term memory loss n cos i deleted my messages in my phone cos no memory.

conversation 1
-just have t tell smone, i wasted half a bottle of dishwashin detergent t kill two mating cckroaches. n cleanin up wa so heavenly.
-lol. nyerrr...
-they mate dont use raspberry flavoured condom 1.
-they use spermicide.
-no la, they use lemon smellin detergents. i gave them a bit too much, they got so high that they die of estasy.
-who ask you keep viagra-like substance in your room...
-ohhhhhhhh nooooooo, how u kno ar? ( actually i dont)
-of course la, even d maids who clean ur room oso kena d.
-no la, actually i keep in my hsmates masterbedroom. dats y its called masturbate room. my room now smells of lemons.
-lol. nyerrrrrr...
-lazy talk to u d, make me sound so dirty, im innocent 1, u kno? i seriously like chocolate milk, root beer n apple juice only.

conversation 2
-just have t tell smone, i wasted half a bottle of dishwashin detergent t kill two mating cckroaches. n cleanin up wa so heavenly.
-half a bottle? mating?
- yup, they mate very interestin 1, u kno? one on top of d other, so syok, n i drown them in lemon smellin detergent and they die in syokness.
-haha..should have just smacked them.
-their position very strategic, scared smack them, 1 squashed, d other go hide take revenge n obey god by going forth n multiply.
- haha... at least its better they dint go n have a family in ur room.
-yeah, n my room smells of lemons.
-consider urself lucky, cockroach mating very rare to observe 1, hw many ppl want t see oso cannot, nex time ask jo ee t search on youtube.
-dont worry, i will.

conversation 3
-just have t tell smone, i wasted half a bottle of dishwashin detergent t kill two mating cckroaches. n cleanin up wa so heavenly.
-huh? half a bottle of detergent? u really hate cockroaches.
-haha... nothing against them, its jus they were doin smthg they shouldnt do in public and in a corner where i cant even smack them. do u like cockroaches?
- nope, of course not.
-i think im a bit sadistic, makin cockraoches die of estasy on lemon smellin detergent. is it wrong t kill them? cos imagine u r a cockroach, havin d time of ur life when u get drowned by lemon smellin liquid. its a bit unfair, since u did nothing wrong but exist.
-haha...funny way t describe.. dont think its wrong.
- but if u magnify d image, drownin humans in lemon smellin detergent while they r matin. r humans that more important than cockroaches? is d life of an advanced primate more important than that of an insect?
- haha... as long as they keep away from me, i dont care.

tags that never end...

2008-09-26T02:54:00.000-07:00

endless tags from friends... dont kno y im doin this

1. What is the relationship of you and her/him?
~ex-classmates + housemates

2. Your 5 impressions towards her/him?
~ jo ee- ultra cool guy with lots of water to blow n indirectly became my sifu in quite a few
aspects.
hojun- cool guy, his laptop rocks, nice t b around with.

3. The most memorable things she/he had done for you.
~ jo ee-help me exercise by askin me t dapau chicken rice 4 him
hojun- lend me his laptop
4. The most memorable things she/he have said to you.
~jo ee- D** dont play...
hojun-jo ee D** u?

5. If she/he become your lover, you will..
~ make sure i like their mothers

6. If she/he become your enemy, you will..
~ they will not... cos i will use chocolate to bribe them.

7. If she/he become your lover, she/he has to improve on..
~high level analysis of stock market and increament of capital gain so as to step up on the production of chocolate milk and help fight dvelopment cancer by investigatn the speed of light at void conditions.

8. If she/he become your enemy, the reason is..
~ their mothers.

9. The most desirable thing to do on her/him is?
~ deprive them of the opportunty to eat chocolate.

10. The overall impression of her/him is..
~ im nt repeatn myself.

11. How do you think the people around you feel about you?
~they laugh at the random things i do n they think im a fool who makes fun of himself n embarass himself.

12. The character of you for yourself is?
~ haha... i ll find out one day...

13. What do you hate about yourself?
~ i dont xpress myself much n keep lots of stuff bout myself n others underneath my mask of randomness

14. The most ideal person that you want to be is?
~my father, but richer, happier, more confident, n more understandin of the world, but i doubt that its possible cos he is already rich happy confident n infinitely more knowledgeable.

15. For the people who care about you and like you, say something to them.
~ love them. though i said i wont misuse the word 'love', this doesnt count as i reallly do.

Ten people to tag :
1.wan limm
2.jason
3.fatt chi
4.james
5.jamie
6.kong
7.ooi siang
8.jasper
9.esther
10.zhen

Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
there are some speculation on whethr he is in a rlationship or nt, or theres a one way relationship from someone bt i dnt think he will confirm it.

No.3 a male or a female?
male

If no.7 and no.10 were together, would it be a good thing?
erm... they dont even kno each other, hw would i kno? but of course its a gd thing... theres nothin bad in gettin tgether if anyone gets wat i mean...

How about no.5 and 8?
im nt sure... they are in the same pre-u, but mayb... i dont kno.... very hard t say... im on the fence.

What is no.1 studying about?
currently a-levels, nt sure where he is goin after that... as in he himself is unsure.

Is no.4 single?
no. this i heard from someone.

Say something about no.6.
he is somehow a cross-breed of mung beans and confucius which brings us intellectual crap defined.

tagged

2008-09-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

gt tagged.
Rules :
1. Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back!!

well, i ll jus start.
without intro.
its cos im lazy.
thats right.
1. im lazy.
2. i love ppl's mom n my mom too.
3. chocolates r nice
4. im straight as in i like girls. (t clear any misunderstandins)
5. my hair doesnt stand unless its short or after i go swiming.
6. i learnt nt t misuse d word 'love' but i really love evryone. they r family.
7. there r times im silent, i dont speak. dont ask why. jus dont like wastin time talkin uselessly. prefer thinkin, n observe, n analyse. until kong taught me hw t talk crap, in which i excelled, t a certain extent, when im in d mood.
8. ppl need a certain frequency t communicate wit me.
9. i still dont undrstd why im born.
10. n i dont undrstd lots of stuff.
11. im goin t find d ans to most of d stuff.
12. dont like cheese cakes.
13. im random. its cos ive nuthin t talk about.
14. im runnin out of weird stuff. there may b more im nt aware of.
15. theres one more weird thing im doin. im actually writin smthg on my blog.

im taggin kong. if he ever sees this by chance.

chem prac

2008-08-20T20:10:00.000-07:00

mornin.
been a long time since i blogged.
mainly cos theres no time.
but i ve time nw,
jus bcos im stuck in main campus by d rain jus after my trial chem practical.
and d rain is nt gettin any smaller.

well, im goin to negate any negative feelins bout my chem prac.
its useless to cry over spilled silver nitrate.
not that its that bad...
jus gt one of my QA ions wrong
on d bright side, i failed.
again.

im so used to failin,
quite hard to pass.
when ur passin mark is 99.
but its nt impossible.
passed a few times.

rain is still pourin,
no choice but to move on to more philosophical aspects.
why r we here?
my christian friends would answer: to glorify god.
cant argue with that, its their purpose they r here.
its good that they hv found their purpose.
happy for them.
they say when they pray, they talk to god.
god answers.
yeah, i agree.

theres only one true god.
christians go to heaven.
their faith will lead them there.
true.
they will find heaven through god.
pity d islams, buddhists, sikhs, hindus....
but other religions hv their own heaven- moksha, nirvana...
in the end evryone is at peace with their heaven.
nt to forget that theres also hell.
eighteen levels of it.

too bad im stuck in the middle.

n the rain stopped when i typed that.
must hv been fate.
till nex time then.

holidy

2008-06-27T19:45:00.000-07:00

mornin, wasted a whole week.

visited my old school. 4 2 dys.

stayed at home 4 d rest of d time.

dint go online cept t check result

failed evrytin
mom killed me over thinkin skills n maths
i agree wit her
i wont go t parties anymore...
wont play my housemates' laptop anymore...
do more exercises...
blah...blah...

wont waste my time on blogs...
wont play dota even if jason tries t tempt me...

ok, i am wastin time nw...
but it does feel gd...
bye 4 nw.

last day of hosp attachment

2008-06-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

mornin.

tdy is fridy.

do i hv smthg t do?

yeah... go hosp.

but its 1.30.

wat i do till then?
waste my time at d web.

wasted.

lunch.

at last...
SJMC... love d place.
went t sixth floor
changed into nice comfy green suits with a cap and a nice smellin mask (smhw reminds me of burnt flesh)
wasted another hour
keith came.

went into OT.
'tdy, i ll let u all c orthopedic. much more interestin than my case tdy.'
ok, its jus orthopedic.
wait a sec... NT BAD.... ORTHOPEDIC

45 min later...
wow...
well, jus saw a knee joint replacement.
with all d blood
and d heavenly smell
and my back still ache a bit frm d lead suit 2 dys bk.

nex... went about d laboratory
borin stuff again
cept 4 livers n kidney samples
n a few microscope slides

handed in our booklets...

about t walk bk...
wats keith doin?
'ohhh.. im followin my father on his rounds.'
cn we follow?
ask?
ended up goin t wards.

nice...
saw hw t test 4 air in d bladder,
yeah... it givs a diff sound when u knock it.
spinal anaesthesia
epideural anaesthesia
they r regional
make ur legs feel heavy
u try to walk, u ll fall
blah...blah...
i love dato tan
even chia yew cant match his intelectual crap

i repeat...

i love dato tan
even chia yew cant match his intelectual crap

u see this toe?
nw, close ur eyes, tell me its up or down. (t d patient)
down... up... down... down...
haha... see? its 50% wrong

blah...blah...

after this, recomended us t go UH
then walked bk...
t gt high on boredom

dont even kno y im writin this
seems so senseless
shows hw desperate i m
even kong agrees

hospital attachment

2008-06-19T20:20:00.000-07:00

"Tuesday, June 17, 2008

a medical experience that was simply nirvanic

there is a secret glee in me today as i write about first two days of medical attachemnt... why?
i met keith.

I GOT TO GO INTO AN OPERATING THEATRE WEARING SURGEON ATTIRE SEEING ALL THE EXPLICITNEES OF UROLOGY AND ....
ok lets calm down and look at no. 1.
no 1 cannot be taken as proof that chia yew met a hot guy and is thus technically a gay. he is not, at least according to this line of argument.
u see keith is the son of Dato' Dr Tan , the senior consultant urologist at SJMC. and by virtue of him, we got to go into an perating theatre, looking like this:
yes cool rite! the power of connections. but no i am not one who takes advantage of people. Keith is really a nice person we ate lunch with him these 2 days at the mamak. and we got to know him quite well. and his father as well.

THE FATHER
OMgoodness, this doc is intense. in operation he fire the nurses like mad and condescends everyone, asking them to think properly. he was so angry when in the first operation keith felt dizzy. he was scolding him saying how u going to be doctor and them blaming it on vasophageal whtdoyoucallit? he scolds everyone and fires quetions like mad at us...lol.

THE SON
haha keith he's hair is so adorable . we went eating mamak with him two days redi. hes a quiet guy whose mothers name i nw know thanks to daniel... his hair is unbent by will and is the greates thing in the universe it is antimatter.. INTERLUDE: SURESH: wat u talking about????? as daniel; said his hair is so cute when its under those shower caps- it actually still stands up.this statements should not be taken as prove that kong is gay, as far as this arguments showla...

THE EMERGENCY DEPARTMENT
we got to saw a man whose figer got stuck on the door. we got to see a woman with menstrual cramps and a baby who was coughing and could not stop coughing. we saw a man that had to have his hairy chest shaved by a nurse while taking an ecg as he had fainted. real ER drama happened with the baby. When the GP asked for the baby to get an X ray, the mother was saying no no no no. they wanted to wait for a paediatrician dr khoo. but the babys condition was serious. they even declined a nebulizer. THe GP was already pissed and told the nurse to let them be.
when can u get into a med attachment and actually get to see a drama like this?
but then a sad thing: people always look down at Gps and look up at specialists. Kasihan the GPs.

THE OPERATION THEATRE- THE FIRST OPERATION
keith was special and heaven sent- he got his father to get EXTRAORDINARY ACCESS into the OT. so we actually saw the operation, with all the explicitness and all. as dr tan (with phua chu kang boots...lol) conducted the operation he inserted a scope into the ureter yes the mans penis (be professional) and then he took out one by one the kidney stones in the bladder and ureter with a grasper. THE EQUIPMENT all costs RM 30000. the man was a malay man. the scope has x16 magnification and had colour. so it was nice looking at the video. the procedure ended in an hour but was damn nice! first time in OT. and DR tan was saying he had 20 years experience nad yes he was giving his h=nurses a hard time...lol. WHY DONT U ALL THINK????? (not with suresh's frown.)

THE SECOND OPERATION
this was a more interesting one. First we saw anaesthetics being given. it was an epidureal anaesthetic and actually injected into the backbone! so we saw the anaestehtist pricking large needles into the chinese man's spine, with blood coming out! and worse the man was jerking when he poked the needles. this was a case of an enlarged prostate. He put another &*(^ scope into the mans penis ureter and this time dr tan showed us the place where sperm came out and the left and right ureter ducts. the prostrate was large, covering the whole flow of urine. So dr tan put in an electrical cutter and started carving the prostrate by electrically burning parts of it off. we could all see this with the video. Dr tan likens it to coring an apple! he is really skilled man. then he seals the bleeding vessels by heating it up with the electricalm thing as well.
then he pumped it allout the bits of prostrate- and the smeel of burnt flesh was evident
actaually

BURNT prostrate= ikan bakar
its a no brainer about what i wont eat again.

the litotrophy machine
Keith's uncle, DR NG showed us the litotrophy machine used to blast stones. we got to touch the machine which uses ultrasound to blast it and X ray to produce images. u can actually hear the sound of the shockwave. then he showed us the older ultrasound method. he was telling us the stones will appear as shadows. Then he put the detector on his stomach and started counting the shadows! so funnyla lol.

THE THIRD OPERATION
this was the breadwinnerla.... it was a key hole surgery. they actually first made a small needle holeinto the skin at the back at the position of the kidney and progressively made it bigger by inserting bigger tubes. we had to wear covers on our front body as the amount of blood splatter was going to be significant. the idea was to get out kidney stones by this way.so inserted another scope which is named ESWL- it actaully uses shockwaves to break up the stones and then sucks it out. the whole procedure is named PCNL. now the procedure normally takes 1 hour.
it took 2 and a half hours.

WHY AH?

WELL, daniel , i and keith was in the middle of a medical complication.
the doctor, DR Khalai got one of the tubes too deep into the flesh and tried pulling it out using all the medical instruments possible to get it out and did that for 30 minutes. it was madness la. the frustration and tenseness was so much in the air- especially us- we could not do anything but staare at the monitor seeing the tube stubbornly stuck deep into the tissue and tersnagkut at a muscle. it was like few hours.
at a point dr khalai cursing and saying he wanted to die. the OT floor was flooded with bloodied water as the nurses had not time to attend to the overfilled bin. the nurses one of them had palpitations ready, sweating so much. i was like so frustrated! then they had to make incisions to largen the hole. and dr khlai was digging into the hole to reach for the tube.
then they found an instrument and finally got it out. the whole OT was rejoicing. sihs of relief heard everywhere..... dr khalai was saying- that forceps is the best medical iinstrument in the world.
then the second disaster struck the cathether in the ureter got pulled too fast by the nurse- forcing them to spend another 30 minutes trying to fix the problem...
finally it was finished and they were like:

THIS IS NOT NORMAL PCNL.
i tell u hebatla- we got to go thru a complication. the feeling is depressing and tensing...reallyla

PHARMACY
the only interesting things here was the pneumattic shooter which shoots drugs to any part in the hospital including the block across the ROAD! and the Cytotoxic DRUG COnciliation department that prepares cancer drugs.

ENDOSCOPY
there was nothing much here just doctors sticking up probes up anal orifices. but the group with the girls were much better (Why do girls always get better treatment????) getting to see stomach ulcers, intestinal polyps and the helibactor pylori test- put the tissue sample from stomach onto a paper- it turns red-signalling alaklinity- thers helicobactor pylori.

DIAGNOSTICS
we saw a stress test. urodynamics test- statistics bout urination action....one man had 1000 litres in his bladder. then we saw ECG, and EEG the brain one. The autistic child was screaming for 1 hour while doing his EEG, noisying the whole diagnostics. there was also a respirometer, audiolab and a doctor who sad he gave advice to AUST> students: DONT COME BACK...lol
but just something about the UROLOGY OPERATIONS
it is very humbling that these patients put so much trust in doctors. they let doctors wash and sponge their private parts, let their private parts get elevated...the trust i tell you. they give themselves to doctors when they are most vulnerable.
and now i have gone thru a rite de passage. i no longer flinch at seeing people naked. i have faced as much stress as possible- watching a medical complication, i love medicine a thousand times more now, the patients nod and smile at me, thinking i am a doctor and giving me acknowledgement.
they say with power comes responsibility
medicine gives the doctors powers which are loaned from their patients.
with medicine, one becomes like atlas, the greek man who held the earth on his shoulders
i have gone thru a rite de passage,
i can now somewhat feel that heaviness on my shoulders
i have reborn..."

well... kong told it all...
feelin exactly d sm thing...
its pure nirvanic...
and yeah... im lazy.
y bother typin, when ur friend has done evrythin?
beats me.

NONSENSE

2008-06-19T19:35:00.000-07:00

mornin.
compilin all my nonsense from my friend's blogs:

frm kong's blog:

pm4 punya mother, 2008-2008
these are depressing times, i downgraded Pm4 punya mother to father in facebook.
we mourn for our mother....

but first a few of daniel lee siang yuin's quotes which we all can ponder on and use in our lives.

'yeah, my uncle went to the land of bliss. or heaven. or achieved moksha. or watever.it is reali learned hw to fold paper gold 4 him.man in black? mother in black more likely'

'mornin. once upon a time there was nutin. then the creator said, let there be a PM4 09 group. n there was a PM4 09 group. then the creator thought, this group is so empty, let there be members, but no one came. the creator was so desperate, dat he went to pee in the toilet. and suddenly, someone cm. the someone, oncludin dragon lady, silent n latent force, lady of visual identity, mother, corrupted finance minister, phosphidiesterbond, lady of intergration, walkin n talkin book of life, ..............cant rmember dat much offhand, n boom! a great flood came n swept away everytin. the creator then wrote in his blog, i as the creator of PM4 09 group, will promise to be a gd boy n send the mother to tanjung rambutan.'

'wats this bout order 33? as long as it doesnt concern my favourite blue colour, im willin to receive any punishment on behalf of sushi king'

'hey! wats with the change in my post?! i dont want to go to tanjung rambutan! im still sane! no!!!!!!!!!!! my precious mother will miss me.....'

' gd mornin. yes jason, im nt bk in ipoh. since the creator is disappointed wit me, im goin to try nt to talk crap anymore but theres a mutual tendency of boredom to incite fits of spoutin solid nonsense in the name of flamin bloody burnin bleedin blindin blinkin blurkin frogs. firstly i aplogise 4 projectin a slightly immature image of the guys in PM4 and i feel deep remorse 4 all the days i tortured anyone i tortured wit my literal bullshit, n i want to.....hang on.....im nt talkin crap, am i? yeah im serious..........ly talkin crap. no, im not. im serious...... as usual. And oso, i want to express my sheer joy 4 being appointed as the mother of PM4 even though i dont see y i deserve this utmost honour, n i want to add, y is there no post 4 father? it is my utter disappointmt that the mother does nt hv a father to go forth n lay eggs, in the sense of fried eggs. bacon will be preferable but as master yoda says, eggs r those who r made to look strong n bacon r those who hv whacked kong'

'hi, brothers, n sisters, on this beautiful mornin, i as the mother of PM4 am goin to give a speech on the topic...... i forgot wat topic. Anyway since its soooo borin in subang dat im reduced to writin crap on PM4 Taylors 09 wall. Theres only timothy wit me here, n smhw he doesnt trigger my crap talkin as much as Jason or chiayew does, so here i am writin a grandmother story hopin to express my love of mickey mouses n fried chicken n oso to waste my time writin nonsense, tryin to take up all the precious space on PM4's wall. Btw, i miss class n i want to ask, does anyone here like dogs? cos i do n my mother doesnt let me hv one. In terms of chicken dumplings n bicycles, i would like to conclude that, i love my mother more than fried chicken.'

'since i feel so uselessly brin tdy, i m goin to give a no nonsense rainbow on the topic of google and its bad effects on the health of hallucinations since u should listen to phones through d left side of ur brain to minimise microwaves resonatinand bcos i jus dun kno hw t post anything on pm4 blog cos i cant get in kenvin hasnt been invited so cant get in through his blod either and therefore its better to vent the hunger and stravation of eternal bliss and peace on the whole pack of houses leadin t their doom in the greatest palace of dried pancakes withj the addition of salsa sause and hornkin dung bombs to the speed of light with a constant acceleration of exactly one jokin of goody bags.'

thus now i, mr kong salute siang yuin's mother for giving us such an incorridgible mother. Thank You, Lee family.

mother on clouds
well tday is a gd mornin to be sharin with u all out there. i ll start with my mother... sorry, my name which is strictly composed of alphabets and not numbers, please note the fact that i m nt chia yew but an honoured coursemate of his that will be lecturin u on the inevitable destiny of the love which will blossom btween mothers n daughters n sons or even grand mothers, n i hope that in all order there will be no one commitin suicide after readin wat i wrote. firstly, ..... yes i 4gt to tell u all my name. a name is a sacred part of u which u will bear throughout ur life, smthing u will be known n identified with, by ur friends, ur relatives, ur enemies, n ur mothers. but in real life, one should concentrate more on their mothers their family than on creatin enemies. enemies u convert into friends will be wind under ur wings, anchors bneath ur ships, n this in turn proves that mothers really hold an important role in our mundane affairs, which then in turn makes up our life. then again, ricebowls oso has a great big influence on hw humans think that they themselves r very great. in actual fact, most of them hv ate too much rice till they suddenly realised they had ate too much sugar along with it. added together, sugar n rice will then be converted into white goo that will shorten one's already short lifespan, splitin one's cells into mulch through osmosis, creatin a great decomposin environment 4 germs n microorganisms. sorry again. i realised i have nt tell u all my name. i want to express my deepest regret 4 my forgetfulness n hope that u guys will 4give me 4 it. forgetfulness is smthg no one should tolerate, cos this shows that the person is nt fit 4 eatin salad. when eatin salad, cucumbers could get stuck in ur teeth n u could 4 get to get it out n it will be stuck there untill it rots on its own, and accompany u as u go to heaven. heaven is a nice place, or so i heard from someone. i jus read the five people i met in heaven the other day n truly u can feel the balance btween the fried banans n red apricorns dancin in the wind. this shows that u should b3e gd boys n never eat too much salt durin ur lunch or u will deteriorate from lamp posts to petrol. and oso, there is that place called hell which i heard is a place where the air-con is rosak. imagine. ur aircon is rosak. wat can u do? nutin. NUTIN. so, all u can do is to sit down pretendin nutin has happened. which will inturn cos karma to fix the aircon. so u will ask, wats the difference btween heavenb n hell? an air con? definitely no. point of information. this is a term that i jus learned this mornin. kong taught me this phrase n he says u use it in english debates, inaccordance to the difference btween heaven n hell, is earth is a nice place to live in n wait, theres more.... i havent told u all my name, my name is given by my mother, though i dont know why or hw on earth she gave me this name. its nt such a bad name, in fact, i love my name for the fact it reminds me of.... kong is startin to look at me nw 4 writin so much and takin so long jus to type "a few sentences" on his blog. anyway, my name ..............is ...............................
Daniel
Lee
Siang
Yuin.

mr kong: haha mr daniel, the pic u put kena censor. people this is my fren speaking. Note his level of craziness and nonsensicalness.

but then again the last day, i did not learn most from the conference but i learnt most at my relative's birthday dinner with her and it was on accord of one of my bets with daniel.
kong: eh i dare you to call your mother and say i love you.
daniel: but she wont listen....
kong: come on make a difference (already with a snigger...bad kong..)
daniel: alrite....(reluctant tone)
Daniel: (a whole lot of crap to mother or a better phrase- sweet nothings)
Daniel: and ammi, i love you...
Kong: (OMG... he did it...)
zhen checks his phone log. Dialled 1: MUM
Kong: then what did she say?
Daniel: i love you too
Kong, Zhen, Esther : orrrrr...
Kong: guys, daniel just said i love you to his mum...clapping is in order...
Eeryone: (Clap as it was in order and it would be unwise and scary to go against mr kong)
and there was this hidden happiness in him... i could see he was amazingly happy.
i, needless to say, felt the most touched in years.... there was a small urge to cry...really...emoness set in...
habis cerita.

frm esther's blog:

Daniel
Everyone is related to him as he calls all the girls in PM4 sisters.Loves all the mothers of the world especially his mother.Was initially quite quiet until TAYMUN-SG.Likes singing.Made a fool of himself during TAYMUN-SG by giving a speech about masturbation and mothers in front of roughly 100 ppl.Loves Miss Ko as she's going to be a mother.Jason's very best friend.Genius who does not take down any notes in class.Has his own passing (note:Passing, not A)mark of 99%.

frm jamie's blog:

Danieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel - Daniel Lee Siang Yuin
Defender of Mothers Federation
Order of Randomness - 1st order
1st time : Girl catches bus
2nd time: Bus catches girl's mother
"Ms. Ko's smile is like the rising sun"
"Hwwwwaaaaiiii"

frm ken vin's blog:

april 28-model united nations conference
(this speech is to be spoken in a complete dull monotone which could hardly be heard but enough to roughly make out the words)

POINT OF INFORMATION FOR GAY RIGHTS
gd mornin honourable chairs, distinguish delegates n their mothers. As an example, the secretary general masturbatin while hvin fantasies of the deputy chair of the GA2 4 all this delegate cares.
DELEGATE OF ______:IS THE DELEGATE ALLOWED TO SPEAK SUCH CRUDE THINGS IN THIS CONFERENCE, THE SECRETARY GENERAL MASTURBATIN HVIN FANTASIES BOUT THE CHAIR OR SMTHG?
the deputy chair of GA2.
THE CHAIR: IT IS NT ALLOWED.
its jus an example.
THE CHAIR: THE DELEGATE IS ISSUED A 1ST WARNIN, PLS RETRUN TO HIS SEAT.
thank you.
( the follwin is the continuation of the speech of this delegate to rectify his newfound image as a pervert) but this delegate jus couldnt see wat in the mothers nm is wrong with dat. the secretary general may be a gay, but he is still a human, an individual capable of contributin to his own nation n country, give his manpower to the society, n carve his own space in this world of evryones mothers. he jus wants to earn his own livin, why should he be disciminated n be singled out n given less rights as compared to his mother? jus becos his mother is normal? and this delegate would like to direct the houses attention to the definition of normal. wat is normal? this delegate may like chocolate cakes n his mother likes cheese cakes. but does this makes the mother of this delegate normal n this delegate abnormal? does jus becos the majority likes cheese cakes makes likin cheese cakes normal? is the majority normal? there is no real definition of normal n jus 4 the information of the mothers of the house, in the point of view of gays, even they may view their own mothers as abnormal. hence, does the delegate agree that lovin ur mothers does nt mean u r a gay?(the frustration of this delegate in nt bein able to complete his serious speech has droven him over, n lost all interest in the conference, n resolved nt to be serious at all as shown in next few followin speeches.)

SPEECH FOR MEASURES OF DESEMINATION OF RACISM N XENOPHOBIC MATERIALS
gd mornin honourable chairs, delegates, n their mothers. well firstly, this delegate would like to demand the full attention of the house n strongly insist that this delegates speech is nt interrupted by any mothers point of privileges as done by the delegate of ______ when this delegate was givin his point of infornation for gay rights.
DELEGATE OF ______:ISNT THIS VINDICTIVE, I MEAN, THE DELEGATE BRINGIN UP THINGS DAT HAS HAPPENED.
point of order.
THE CHAIR: DELEGATE OF _____ IS NT ALLOWED TO INTERRUPT THE SPEECH OF THE DELEGATE UNLESS WIT POINT OF PRIVILEGE.
DELEGATE OF ______:POINT OF PRIVILEGE.
THE CHAIR:GRANTED.
DELEGATE OF ______:THIS DELEGATE DEMANDS AN APOLOGY
(cuttin her) this delegate apologizes profusely to the delegate of mothers.
THE DELEGATE OF _____:DOES THE DELEGATE KNOW WATS THE MEANIN OF VINDICTIVE?
no(with an emphasized monotone)..... may i continue?
THE CHAIR: YES U MAY.
although this delegate stronly supports any measures regardin this topic, this delegate would like to remain neutral on the matter of this resolution as this delegate hasnt even read it. n in accordance to the matter of warnins, this delegate would like to thank the chair 4 his second warnin if he has received 1. this delegate refuses any point of information n yields the floor to the chair. (salt n sugar: n this delegate would like to yield the floor to the delegate of the united kingdom as he is the most active in this present conference n has a nice accent n would like to welcm him to critisize this delegate 4 tryin to lighten the mood of this conference.)

CLOSIN SPEECH
gd mornin honourable chairs, delegates n their mothers.
THE CHAIR :PLS BE REMINDED TO FOLLOW THE PROCEDURES OF THIS CONFERENCE. (continuin as if nutin happened)well, firstly, this delegate politely refuses t apologize 4 his monotone which is specially designed t infuriate all parties and this delegate would like to get straight to the point on the topic of... sorry this delegate has forgotten wat topic he is speakin on, but would like to declare its firm stand supportin countries which strongly supports the vocal expression of love of mothers, as gays also has mothers. and this delegate would also like to express his deepest remorse for ruinin the utterly serious image of his partner in the world nuclear association and 4 earnin him his 1st warnin. this delegate would like to yield the floor to the chair. thank you.
THE CHAIR: I THANK THE DELEGATE OF WNA. WELL, IM SURE DAT WAS VERY ENTERAININ N U ALL HAD UR LAUGH.
(cuttin in) and this delegate would also like to express his love 4 the chairs mother.
THE CHAIR(STUNNED)(applause n laughter)(this delegate walked down feelin nutin cept 4 sudden fits of uncontrolled mirth which is governed by a mask of blurrness till he reached his seat)

may 30-boredom
well. gd mornin, daniel here tday,firstly, sorry ken vin, 4 nt updatin ur blog 4 such a long time... this is largely due t the psycological effect ur blog has on me... the black back ground,,, the dull grey colouration of words, ur disgustin pictures of urself... *hiccup* did i write anythin wrong... oh yeah the (in a more positive way) not disgustin pictures of urself makes my mother feel no mood at all t even write crap on this depressin blog. however, u should feel lucky, cos tday marcel is here, n he is invigilatin my work, while tryin to clear his throat and askin me t write more bout him in ur blog. well, the first thing bout marcel.... i love his mother.when u ask 4 his mother's name, he will answer "top Secret". and wat is so secretive? he doesnt know cos he doesnt want t tell. of the list of mothers names...its quite long... ng swee kim, ah ngo, i 4 gtten quite a few also... i rmember askin chia yew... but he refuses t answer after the first time i asked him. but now, lets turn t more interestin stuff... whats the meanin of life? the meanin of life is nuthin. yes it is an inconvenient truth. nuthin. its jus like, u succeed in life, u have a beautiful family, then u die. sad, right? everyone dies in the end. they say u go t heaven, hell land of bliss, land of peace, achieve moksha, not reborned.... is it true? pastors say its true, monks say its true, but hw do they know so much? hv they ever bin there? its like sayin u love fried chicken without even eatin one bfore. well? the fact is... the solid thing is... we all die. no matter where we go, to heaven or wherever god wants us t go, or rot in the grave of burned t ashes to return all the proteins, carbohydrates n toxins watever we consumed used for respiration t the soil, the 1st thing is, we hv t die. so/ u will ask. since we will die, y bother studyin mr sureshes lousy notes, nt insultin him, nuthin against him xept 4 his notes, n maybe the he as d oni science teacher who managed t make me feel sleepy... *hiccup* sorry, change subject. so/ y bother earnin money? y study so hard? y do we obey god and go forth and multiply and have families? y? we will all die anw. the answer is damn simple. firstly, u love ur mother more, m u will hv no regrets. secndly, we will die anw, so, wat matters is hw u die. u want t die wit style, with lots of children, lots of people goin t die sooner or later mournin 4 u, the whole world mournin 4 y,or, d u want die without tellin ur mother u love her, in a cheapskate grave by the roadside? well, nw, since timothy and chiayew are here nw, 'AWESOME', says timothy. then chia yew will say, 'HWWWWWWY?'. but since in the name of garfields, u can clearly see hw puppets of hawaii dance in the breeze of fantasia and of course u have to take in to account the high probability of gettin band 1 in IELTS, to ensure dat newspapres will put the news of water bottles poisonin the entire world with plasticine vibrio cholerae and then causin rainbows to have eight colours of the wind leadin to the mass decay of antimatter which in turn emit positron which is the opposite of negatively charged electron and cause chia yew to imitate ms yap wavin his hands talkin in the fashion of an aunty, irritatin the whole class like a burstin termite den addin on to that the matter of sry... lazy to type, been typin f 38 minutes straight. so, till nex time then.

Mornin

2008-06-19T02:05:00.000-07:00

mornin.
brothers.
and sisters.

dint kno y i started a blog ind 1st place.
but i did.
all bcos of 'a little' pressure frm my gd friend chia yew.
haha...
nw lets gt t serious stuff
when i mean serious,
it is serious
ok...
but dun feel like being serious nw
so...
firstly....
...
...
...
i 4gt wat i want t blog about
but they say practice makes perfect
till nex time then, folks.