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the island surrounded by dreams

It was my calling to a field of buttercups swaying lazily in the breeze of an Australian spring.
A dream I am living which I hope I would never wake up from.
This is my story, a humble one, but please, mind the step, when you open the door.

collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You somehow find you and I collide


set the bar.
I follow.

few months of australia

I lost myself to australia
I need to get myself back.

I dont know what I am anymore.
An amalgamation of different cultures, philosophies, thinking and communication,

Thats what I am.
I just need to sort it out.

what nonsense.
I dont need to.

I must.
And I will.

置于死地而后生

the blind cant see
the crippled cant walk
it is the natural order

imperfection
is perfect
and to take perfect from perfect
only perfect is left

good birds find good trees to live in
trees rotting at the roots
would fall with time

trees grow and fall
good trees last for thousands of years
some barely last a century

china's dynasties have good founders
but they failed as the throne fell upon shoulders not meant for the throne
succession by blood ended
it would fail less easily

money does make life easier

rich or poor
is defined not by the wealth you have
but how you spent it

spend more, save less,
save more, consume less,
two giants of a country,
East and West,
big difference in fate.

peaches and plums dont speak
yet a path is carved beneath them

its not fine to rob others
it is, to defend against robbers
its fine for others not to understand you
its not if you dont understand others

know the person
know the face

the heart, you wont know.

Yours,

Daniel Lee Siang Yuin

the end

what is of essence is nt the time which passed,
but how you spend it.

one and a half years is long time,
which was short,
but as it is,
it has passed.

time t appreciate this blog's title.
all said,
let fate decide.
trust luck.

t my hsmates,

i ll enjoy the moments of stress where craziness overtake us,
the second-hand smoke from brunei,
the times we laughed,
the times we laugh even louder,
and,
yeah,
thx 4 ur coms.

perfect art.

the art of making fun of urself.

of laughing at urself.

of absorbing the joke.

of being the joke.

is the most beautiful art of all.

the clown in u.

express it.

laugh at urself.

and people will laugh with u.

valentines

it all started on monday i think.
ko unleashed his valentines plan on us.

'we have 12 girls and 11 guys in the class.
y not we jus draw lots and have couples for valentines?
and one lucky guy gets 2 girls.'

lol.
we were supposed to be sporting.
at least its better than the cucumbers we gave the girls last year.

further discussion brought down to alyssa being exempted as shes nt single.

drew.
got a 4.

well, its sure funny as each couple was revealed.
any1 gettin kong will be sure suprised.
underneath his roundness....
is a baby dragon.

zhen got me.

house rules:
must get something 4 partner.
sit together, lunch together..
lol...

i was lazy to think.
seriously.

so i did it the daniel way.

collected data from various sources.
compounded it.
and form a complex compound.

lol.
some suggestions were more outrageous than tunas.
for goodness sake? basketballs?

***

well, even the florist is against me:

'flowers for valentines day?'

'yup. do u have hibiscus?'

no joke man, she flared up like an angry mung bean.

'no, our shop dont sell hibiscus. u want, u go to the roadside and pick. no, i tell u, our shop dont sell hibiscus.'

imagine timothy in full bitch mode. lol.

'so, errr what bout these?'
i took some white flowers.
they look like those u see when u go to funerals.
nt bad, funeral flowers 4 valentines.
sniff*
its beautiful.

'u said its 4 valentines? dont take them. usually ppl will get roses, not that.'

lol.
whats her problem?
i was about to give her a sureshan frown.
then i thought better of it.
no time.
grabbed some bright yellow brush.

' ill take this.'

she gave me some dirty cross disgusted frown.
then passed them to an old woman.
and turn back to her telephone askin bout some visma place near kepong.

***

i need to get the tuna out before the flower.
feel like punking her.

sharon.
an angel.

well, she did suffer a bit on my behalf.
holdin d yellow stuff.
kena shoot straight away by su ern and zhen when they came.

lol.
zhen was like in hysterics when i gave her the tunas can by can.
6 of them.
well, i do need to work on my expressionless blur face more.
but i cant let sharon get underfire for longer.
i do owe her a lot.

then only i gave the flowers.

and i got chocolate milk packets.
6 of them.








i messaged my hsmate,
'lol...'




his reply?
' oh lord jesus'

O' LORD JESUUSSSS

i hold no grudge against jesus.

in fact,

i respect him.

brilliant guy.

died with so much style.



i ve read the whole bible.
and memorised luke and acts.
and sat in for god knows how many cell groups.
and fellowships.
and prayer meetings.


and 3 people just simply threatens to ruin jesus's good image before me.

on a fine friday night.
my hsmate's friend said she wanted to visit him, with some friends.
well, thats fine.

then my hsmate asked me to introduce myself.
ok... no problem with that.

then i spotted the familiar booklet the guy was holdin.
o.y.g.
sometin's wrong.

they asked what religions we were.
'buddhist.'
'free but more to buddhist.'
' me? im a muslim"
went back to the room.
my hsmates:'no he is just jokin, he is a free thinker'
dont they know how to act?


got pulled out by
" eh? where daniel went?'

cooperated.
give face.

then they started askin.
whats ur purpose in life?

my hsmate: to find real me.
second hsmate: sometin bout wildlife.
my turn.

"so, daniel? whats ur purpose in life?"
'to glorify god.
to spread the news of the kingdom of god to the ends of the world'

as soon the words were out of my mouth,
cant help but laugh.
covered my face.
this was so funny.
like takin the words out of their mouth.
they must be mistakin me for being shy.
like i care.
lol.

then,
lectures.
his english sounds wrong in a right way.
the girls' keep on using an unnatural hypnotysin voice.
...
(interject lots of amens and lord jesus in that voice which makes one feel like shiverin, just like a limp french fry)
...
gloves created for hand.
not for feet.
...
...
sometin bout names
and i realised they wanted us to chant
O LORD JESUSSSS.
5 times.
the time i feel the stupidest in my life.
even other christian meetins are more natural feelin.
...
...

then talked bout satan.
archangel created by god.


'whats his name again?'
lol.
they come here to preach and dont even know some stupid name.
'lucifer?'
tried to be helpful.
'yeah, lucifer.' the other 2 confirmed.

...
...

well at last they are gone.

智者不言，言者不智。

desire

why do we desire anyting?
why do we strive to get what we want?
why do we want?

kong said,
isnt it better to just work in seven eleven and earn just enough to feed urself?
why study medicine? when the whole million dollars can be used for something else?

it is human nature to desire.
to desire too much we call greed.
not to desire is to be detached.

yet to call it human nature is an excuse.

yet being detached is not human.
we call them divine.

as even buddha was once human.
then he sat under a tree.
and detached.
till he realised how useless being detached is.

being totally detached is useless,
as well not be borned,
it would save so much rice,
reduce co2 produced by so much.

moderation is the best.
to rejoice and be satisfied
yet still have the drive to achieve.

chiun min signature depressing question:
why do we live?
whats the purpose?
why do we eat?
why?

its just because we were created for the purpose of living, eating, surviving, reproducing and dying.

and why were we created?
we may just be an accident for all we know...

jesus said he will bring you to heaven.
and he just tells u theres a feast there.
and not everybody can go there.

sidharta gautama is a bit better.
at least he describes more bout the land of bliss.
every tree...
every rock...
every petal...

even creating demigods,
guan yins,

well, to be fair,
he did live longer than jesus.
jesus only had thirty years.
he did have more time for creativity.
and more time to think.

the heart sutra:

Body is nothing more than emptiness,
emptiness is nothing more than body.
The body is exactly empty,
and emptiness is exactly body.

The other four aspects of human existence
-- feeling, thought, will, and consciousness --
are likewise nothing more than emptiness,
and emptiness nothing more than they.

All things are empty:
Nothing is born, nothing dies,
nothing is pure, nothing is stained,
nothing increases and nothing decreases.
So, in emptiness,
there is no body, no feeling,
no thought, no will, no consciousness.
There are no eyes, no ears,
no nose, no tongue,
no body, no mind.
There is no seeing, no hearing,
no smelling, no tasting,
no touching, no imagining.
There is nothing seen, nor heard,
nor smelled, nor tasted,
nor touched, nor imagined.
There is no ignorance, and no end to ignorance.
There is no old age and death,
and no end to old age and death.
There is no suffering,
no cause of suffering,
no end to suffering,
no path to follow.
There is no attainment of wisdom,
and no wisdom to attain.
The Bodhisattvas rely on the Perfection of Wisdom,
and so with no delusions, they feel no fear,
and have Nirvana here and now.

This is truth that cannot be doubted. Say it so:
Gaté, gaté, paragaté, parasamgaté. Bodhi! Svaha!
Gone, gone, gone over, gone fully over. Awakened! So be it!

道可道，非常道。
名可名，非常名。

the path which can be shown,
is not an eternal path.

those that can be named,
are those that are not eternal.

ideals

are there any ideal guys?
no.

ko: hey, look at me, cant u see the five letters on me? I D E A L?

* * *
but hang on,

is there any ideal girls?

no.

yet we dream bout being ideal.
while idealness is just a dream.
where we look for idealness,
the idealness is found only where it is not ideal.
but nature is always ideal.
we follow our instincts,
which will lead us to idealness.

while reproducing,
we look for partners with the best genes.
so that the next generation would survive.
the urge to mate with the one we presume to have the best genes,
the attraction.
its natural.
yet what we forget is whether we ourselves have the best genes which attract the opposite sex.
so look upon urself.
n think.

prime minister. ex.

peace.
whats peace?
people say they want peace.
yet they themselves do not uphold the peace.

as mahathir say,
evry1 does smthg 4 a reason.
no one goes on the street n punch sm1 on his nose for no reason.

except 4 me.

but thats nt the point.

the point is,
theres a reason theres war.

im nt sayin war is good.

but as a matter of fact,
its a struggle for existence.
as darwin said.
jus that war has evolved.
from claws and talons.
to sharper claws and talons.
till now,
an atomic bomb,
an even sharper talon.

to see the reason of war,
you see from both sides of parties.
both of them think they are right.
want their own way,
war starts.
killing starts.

but the logic is the same.
they are fighting for themselves.
you dont see any1 fightin for some1 else 4 no reason.
they are fightin for what they think is right.
though what they think is right may be wrong.
as the other side think is wrong,
which in turn the other side which think they are right may be wrong themselves.

and all in all its just a cycle with no end.
n no peace.

yet it continues.
cos nature dictates.
human nature is like that.
and there will still be war.
as sure as siblings do squabble.
as sure as couples do quarrel.
as it is their nature.
and nature dictates.
the time may come when theres no war.
but war will follow after.
then peace after war.
and war after peace.
a cycle of no end.
but ends when the world does.

our prime minister.
ex.
has a way with words.
he does say what he thinks is right.
as evry1 does.
but its the ability to make people think the way he think is right that i respect.
a very rare ability which made him prime minister.
though i wont criticise him.
cos he does has his own reasons for his own actions.
be it personal or watsoever.

n im nt stupid enough to get myslf persecuted.

of women and men.

please note i hold no responsibility for any errors watsoever in facts or info.
cos its just wat i notice.

males are attracted to females who look like their mom.
females are attracted to males like their dad.
they are attracted to them cos its the face they looked upon the most in their life.

females's brain think in a different frequency then male's.
we have a hamster.
female: its soooooo cuuuuuute.
male: yup. its cute. so?

females have their own logic.
males have their own too.
females read body language better than males.
though some males do read body language,
but dont do anytin bout it.

when males shop,
they go to the shop,
order what they want,
take it,
n go.
when females shop,
they go to the shop,
look around,
try everytin they like,
they go to the next shop,
n repeat the process.

when males get presents,
the more practical it is,
theres a greater chance he wont leave it in some corner n 4get bout it.
when females get presents,
the more expensive n useless it is,
the happier she is.

the art of seduction of women.
=art of being a jerk.
seriously.
they look at a jerk,
and let hormones and motherly instinct kick in.
hey presto,
shes in love.
but magnitude of jerkiness must be finely controlled to perfection to yield results.
too jerky n you r a clown.
not jerky n you are boring.
in simple words,
personality.
its not the only factor,
theres more.
a lot more.
but im lazy.

what bout vice versa?
what do men look 4 in women?
zhen asked me this.
her exact words,
:what would make you be attracted to a girl?

i cant answer 4 all males.
physically,
which i dont have any control on,
as i said.
she would be like my mom.
when shes young.

otherwise,
i wont tell u.
cos mom wants me t get girlfriend but not now.
NOT NOW.
well, i found her loophole.
which means i dont need 1.
yet.
not that i opposed to gettin 1.
its cos im not matured.
n the case rests here.

but generally,
males want females to be beautiful.
n definition of beautiful varies with each male.
males want females to be confident.
n levels of confidence varies with each male.
males want females to understand him.
someone they can trust.

theres more.
but as i told u.
im lazy.
n i need my chocolate milk.
so long.

tell me. why?

life's full of mysteries.
yet men strife to uncover them.
cos it's men's nature.
curiosity.
like mine.
the fools they are.
when they discover,
the greatest mystery.
is to remain a mystery.
all's clear to me.
cos i failed my ielts.
shouldnt have ask the examiner's mom's name.

why?

i found out whats autism.
i went to orchard.
n learnt how to go round shopping malls n ride escalators.
though i prefer being mentally retarded.
shopping malls is smthg akin to being mentally retarded.
though its being mentally retarded in a different sense.
cos it has MPH.
and various bookstores.
which are not so mentally retarded.
n i found a book.
if life is a game, these are the rules.

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules
Cherie Carter-Scott
In workshops and retreats, on photocopies and emails, on noticeboards and
fridge doors, the 'Ten Rules for Being Human' have been spreading round the
world like wildfire, so, in all probability, you've already seen them. In case you
haven't, they're brilliant, and here they are, together with Cherie Carter-Scott's
summary of how you can use them as a primer for higher consciousness.

Rule One
You will receive a body. You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the
duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two
You will be presented with lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal
school called ‘life.' Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to
learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed
them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation, a
series of trials, errors, and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as
much a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four
A lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons will be repeated to you in various
forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can
then go on to the next lesson.

Rule Five
Learning does not end. There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If
you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six
‘There’ is no better than ‘here’. When your ‘there’ has become a ‘here,' you will
simply obtain a ‘there’ that will look better to you than your present ‘here’.

Rule Seven
Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about
another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources
you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine
Your answers lie inside of you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten
You will forget all of this at birth. You can remember it if you want by
unravelling the double helix of inner knowing.

Summary
Your time here on Earth is brief. Time passes and things change. You have
options and choices in which to make your wishes, dreams, and goals become
reality.
When you ask yourself, ‘Why am I here?’ or ‘Why is this happening to me?’ or
‘What's it all about?’ turn to your spiritual primer. Ask yourself, ‘What is the
lesson?’ If you hear a defensive reaction using the words ‘never’ or ‘always’ in
your response, you haven’t yet learned the lesson. Next, go a little deeper and
ask, ‘What is there for me to learn from this experience?’
Each time you view your circumstances as possessing value, regardless of the
apparent confusion or hardship, you grow. Your personal evolution will
depend on how readily you embrace your lessons and integrate them into your
life. Remember, the only consequence for resisting lessons, is that they will
keep repeating themselves until you learn them. When you have learned a
lesson, you will always be tested. When the lesson is learned, the test will be
easily passed, and you then move on to more complex and challenging ones.
You can look back on the incidents in your past and see clearly the lessons you
have learned, resisted, and are still repeating. ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow
is a mystery, and today is a gift, that is why we call it the present.’
It is more challenging to look at your present situation and see exactly what
your lessons are. Looking into the future is the most difficult. Wishing that
you had already graduated from the school of life does not accelerate your
progress or make the lessons any easier. Examining the situation for the real
lesson is the scavenger hunt.
Remind yourself that you are here to learn lessons. Be present with your
process. Pay attention to what you are experiencing. Be diligent with actions
which enable you to ‘get' the lessons presented to you. Ask for answers and
you shall receive them. Listen with an open heart. Explore all options. See
your judgment as a mirror. View each crisis as an opportunity. Trust yourself.
Believe in yourself. Look within yourself, to your higher self, for guidance on
all your choices. Extend compassion to yourself.
Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons (Rule Three). Love yourself,
trust your choices, and everything is possible!

this book is...
like...
takin the words out of my mouth...
n not puttin it i my style...
so i still prefer lao zi...

Daybreak.

lee chum ming
grace ti hii sie
kong sook yee
lee chee wei
chan lin teng
hor peck yan
yee wai yin
wong wai yee
liew kuan sung
chong tai sie
wong choon hiong
paul raymond
...

names.
not of mothers.
but of mentally retarded people.
there are more of them.

memorising names is hard.
especially when they come in packages of more than 11.
recallin offhand is torture.
especially as i worked with mentally retarded people.
i gradually became mentally retarded.
no offense meant,
but i salute mentally retarded people.
they are more suited to this mental challenge.
an interesting type of mental torture.
which includes willpower.
and power to stay awake.
and power to withstand boredom if u are awake.

what i did was simple.
i took 2 pencils.
inserted them into a sealing plastic.
inserted an eraser.
with the picture side facing d right side up.
seal it.
this process took me less than 30 seconds.
and i repeated it for 2 hours.
but they repeated it for 6 hours.
while i skipped from inserting pens,
to sealing bottle caps,
to checking holes in gloves.
back to sealing pencils.
and they are still more energetic.
waving byes while i saw them go.

they are individuals.
same as us.
each with common characteristics of their own.
but each unique on their own.
they may not be homosapiens,
but an entirely different species,
due to their special chromosomal number
or they may be homosapiens
with some parts of their brain functioning differently
or some disease which crippled them

yet god,
if there is one,
gave them what they had.
or mayb their mothers did.
but i dont care one way or another.

some of their speech may be slurred.
some of them may be shy.
some of them may not know numbers or letters.
yet they listen.
yet they understand.
yet they are ready to befriend.
yet they are ready to help.
yet they whole in their innocence.
(except for creeping up someone's back and poking their ribs)

the point is,
they too have mothers.
though some of them has passed away.
nevertheless,
its a reason.
as good as any reason is.

they have life.
n they have their right to live it to their fullest.